“Okay, on Sunday you can bust suds.” I still remember basking in the glory of those words. Despite flying straight into my well-established disgust and borderline phobia of spittle-laden leavings, for the first time, I became professionally goal-driven.
Here was the plan: Perform well enough at washing dishes to be noticed and then work that into a better job in the kitchen. Subsequently, after proving myself committed to working quickly and until the work was done, coupled with a flexible willingness either to run my mouth or shut it down as the situation warranted, I was promoted to a prep cook position.
Prepping food was a produce-or-you-will-be-barked-at proposition: washing and cutting lettuce for the salad bar; trimming chicken and cubing steak for teriyaki skewers; cracking frozen lobster tails and slathering butter, spices, and plastic wrap over the top. Measure that, mix this, but mostly, speed was demanded.
This little kitchen had to be the point of origin for the term breakneck speed. Again, this was “old school” and there were tons of accidents. Never was there a mention of proper lifting techniques and nary a rubber glove in sight. Cuts and burns in that kitchen were an hourly occurrence. We had more bandages and burn ointment “on the fly” than “remake” dinners. Most of my kitchen hits and nicks were inconsequential—until I was stabbed.
The culprit was waiting for my arrival—a stiletto-thin, serrated steak knife with evil intent. Like a viper on the trail, this bad boy was blade up in the recesses of the only rubber mat in the kitchen. It had been dropped, walked on, and wedged into place by the numb shoes of my fellow workers. One busy evening while diligently applying my adopted value of “speed above all,” I dashed to the front of the dish pit, my vision blocked at the waist by a bus tub full of dirty tools.
As my right foot came to a harried stop, it pressed securely down on the mat-trapped handle of the knife, leveraging the blade tip up at an angle that allowed it to rip itself through the thin canvas of my ratty tennis shoe and then into the inside meat of my late-arriving left foot. I mean, I buried that knife in there. This was real pain, not a schoolyard scrape, and it is here, I confess, that the only thing that kept me from screaming like a scared five-year-old was the swift reaction of the battle-tested kitchen veterans. The alarm was sounded by the first amigo to see me and then, “Wha’ the f’enheimer did choo do?” said the big dawg kitchen manager.
A knife was protruding from the side of my foot like the curb antenna on my grandpa’s Chevy, but what should I do? Yell? Jerk it out? Or just continue to hold my breath and spastically hop around? I know now that my lapsed reaction was because of pure shock, but I did not have long to process the event.
Two or three white-apron blurs grabbed me and together we three-legged-raced to the three-compartment sink. They lifted my leg onto the side of the stainless steel tank. I became woozy. “We gotta take it out and look at it,” they barked.
“Okay,” I feebly replied. I shouldn’t have looked. There against the silver sink was my dangling bloody foot. I saw the hand grab the knife and tug. It hurt coming out, but it was my flesh entrails and the flow of deep red color that I so vividly remember. My tennis shoe and sock were off a moment later and the cold water was cascading over my bare foot. The full blast torrent barely diluted my burgundy-colored blood swirling at the bottom of the sink. Then, first aid goo, gauze, duct tape, and an ice bag, followed by momentary humanity.
After my patch-up, while sitting on an over-turned ice bucket, the kitchen manager came over to me and said “Dude, that’s bad. You gotta go to the doc.”
Weakly, I said. “My car’s got a stick. I don’t think I can work the clutch.”
“That’s okay, I’ll drive ya.”
“But what about the dinner rush,” I asked.
“I’ll get Bobo [his second in command] to run the line. Let’s go!”
I received support and attention not from the “boss/owner” who was “tsk-tsking” in the background, but from our recognized tribal leader: the kitchen manager. This leader didn’t give a hoot about arti-“chokes” or potato-“bakers” when it got real. He stepped up and personally ensured my well being when it counted the most. To recap in a nutshell: I got a tetanus shot, stitches, and time off.
When I returned to work, I was part of the cultural lore. The kitchen crew all blamed some pond scum sucker from the front of the house for being lazy (okay, some disharmonious comments may have emanated from me) and causing this wounding of “one of us.”
One of us. Yes, by working hard before the bloodletting, by not fainting at the sight of my gored foot, and by returning to work, I had made my “bones.” I even picked up a nickname, “Blood” (as in copious amounts of), long before there was any gang member connotation.
Like many hourly workers before and after, I started that summer just trying to get a job and ended it by taking a wild ride with the kitchen tribe.