DEBORAH ANNE FROM MACON ASKS . . .
My pastry chef has a crush on one of my cocktail waitresses. She has all but told him she's not interested, but he insists on making contact with her at work. In some cases, once he’s off the clock, he goes to the lounge on property where she is working and drinks there, hoping to see and talk to her. His work in the pastry shop is fantastic, and I don't want to look for a replacement. She does a great job in our lounge and is a model employee. She told me if I can't stop him, her next step is filing a complaint with HR. She also has said that she will not quit her job just to get away from him. What can I do before this gets into HR’s hands?

THE STAFFING DOCTOR ANSWERS
Deborah Anne, you are walking a thin and wobbly tightrope over the falls here, with large boulders below and no safety net in sight. The first thing you should do in a situation such as this is to involve HR, not the last.

Why? Because, on the one hand, what your waitress is reporting here may not constitute harassment in the legal sense, and her potential complaint might backfire. And, on the other hand, the pastry chef’s actions look similar to those of an incipient stalker. With the stakes this high, your first step must be to seek confidential advice and guidance from someone who has been trained to handle these kinds of situations.

Having said that, the key to resolving the issue quietly is to encourage the waitress to do more than “all but tell” the pastry chef of her lack of interest. She should sit him down and tell him outright that she is not interested in a relationship with him and that his nightly appearances in her workspace have begun to make her extremely uncomfortable. She should then ask the pastry chef to leave her alone. Of course, the waitress should be encouraged to have this conversation in a place that is public enough she will feel safe. She should consider bringing along a witness.

Your waitress is right to stand up for her rights as an employee and as a person. The actions of the pastry chef during and after this watershed conversation will tell you clearly what follow-up steps, if any, are appropriate.

Contact the staffing Doctor
As president of StaffDynamics, www.staffdynamics.biz, Daniel Abramson has focused on workforce performance strategies and "raising the bar" for over 25 years. His energetic, no-nonsense style appeals to clients seeking results at a new level. He is available as a corporate trainer, management coach, and for high-impact speaking engagements. His latest book is Secrets of Hiring Top Talent. You may reach Daniel at daniel@staffdynamics.biz or by calling 877-568-2222. Your anonymity will be respected. Please send questions you would like Daniel to address to editor@hotelfandb.com.